A lot of people abandon toy play because it’s inconvenient and not as enjoyable as other activities. Think about your own experiences. For me, I started buying and playing with cheap toys with suction cup bases. I had a hard time finding something to stick them too. I tried chairs, stools, filing cabinets, floors, walls, shower tiles and the list goes on. I never found a suitable object that I could stick my toys to without doing some weird form of yoga position to get them in my ass at just the right angles. Out of frustration I ended up making my own toy stand. That was a game changer.
Having a proper stand made play a lot more enjoyable and I began to play more often. As the amount of time I dedicated to my toys grew I found that proper set up could be a distraction and discouraging. If I forgot to lay down a towel I’d drip lube on the floor. If it was oil based or J-lube it was a hassle to clean up. If I forgot my poppers I’d have to dismount my toy, squeeze my butt closed (I didn’t want to drip lube all over) and scurry over to get my poppers from the refrigerator. If I got thirsty I repeated the process to fetch a glass of water, beer or glass of wine. Sometimes, there were accidents. And if I didn’t do the preliminary cleanout, there might be some….poo. That’s never fun, unless you’re into scat play.
In all my years of toy play I’ve finely tuned my toy play setup process. Now, it’s a major part of my sex life. It’s fun, convenient, available when I want it, it’s safe, and I don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone else except myself. I want you to have the save enjoyment. So, I have included topics below that I found important in my evolution as a seasoned toy player.
Find a good place to play
If you can dedicate an area for play, it makes things a lot easier. When you’ve got everything you need in one place, it makes setup and cleanup quicker and more convenient. This can be difficult for some especially if you’re living with parents, roommates or simply live in small spaces. I’m lucky; I live alone, own my home and have a garage where I’ve dedicated space for toy play. If you’re not so lucky, try to find a place that is well lighted, easy to clean up, has power outlets for accessories and can afford you some privacy. For many, the bathroom is a good place to start.
Consolidate your supplies
Having everything you need in one place adds convenience and helps expedite setup. Here are a few things you’ll need. If you’re using the bathroom, you’ve probably got many of these already there:
- Cell phone for pictures, videos and emergencies
- Paper towels
- Lubes: water, oil and silicone based
- Puppy pads, incontinence piddle pads or newspapers to catch lube that leaks from your butt
- Hand towels
- Dawn dish soap and salt for cleaning up J-lube (not required but helpful)
- Spare vibrator batteries
- Vagisil (maximum strength, used as a numbing agent)
- Juice injector (without the needle, used to insert lube into your hole)
- Latex gloves
- Laptop computer, iPad or a mobile device for watching porn or recording your play
- Get a long VGI, HDMI or other video device cable so you can put a webcam on a tripod behind you so you can see the action up close. It’s hot!
Get a tool or cleaning caddy
A caddy of some sort is ideal for organizing and storing your supplies in a single, mobile container. Or, if you travel, consider getting a canvas tool bag from a hardware store or online. If you need privacy, get one you can lock.
If you have a lot of gear, consider getting plastic drawers. You can find them in office supply stores.
Make or buy a toy stand
A toy stand goes a long way in making a safe and enjoyable play session. I’m including an illustration of a toy stand I built from parts I bought from a hardware store (illustration below). If you don’t have hand tools to construct a stand, there are toys stands you can buy at some sex shops, but they can be a bit pricey. You can find a variety of stands online or you can consider improvising or modifying a stand made for some other purpose. If you search the Internet, use the search phrase, heavy duty equipment tripod or heavy duty equipment stand or sculpture stand.
Whatever you choose, safety and comfort should be your first consideration. You want to make sure whatever you use won’t collapse under your weight, won’t shatter or break into sharp shards, will be sturdy and allow you to squat over it with good balance and stability.
Use the right lube
To chose the right lube take the toy material into consideration. Silicone based toys are slick and no-porus in general so they typically need a grease or oil based lube that will adequately coat and adhere to the toy’s surface. J-Lube, a water based lubricant that is sold as a powder can be made very thick. It works well on silicone toys as long as it is very thick and sticky…almost “goopy.” Silicone based lubricants work also, but they’re expensive and their viscosity may not be inadequate depending on the brand. You will see some warnings on the Internet warning you not to use silicone lubes with silicone toys because the lube will degrade the integrity of the silicone lube, perhaps even dissolve it. That’s not necessarily true. If the silicone toy is made with inferior materials I can see where this might be a possibility. To make sure though, check with the toy’s manufacture to see if their toys are at risk.
Here are a few oil based lubes you might want to try. A word of caution though—if you are experimenting with a lubricant not specifically made for sex toys or food, proceed at your own risk. You may be allergic to the substance and it may be toxic. Definitely avoid any lubricant made for machinery or not made for use with the human body. The following list is what I’ve tried and used safely:
- Baking grease (Crisco or off-name brands)
- Cooking oils (canola, olive, coconut, etc.)
For latex, jelly or rubber type toys (not always a safe pick), oil and grease based lubes degrade the toy material and they become gummy and sticky. That scares me and I think it would you too. The best lubes for these toys are silicone and water-based lubes.