I’m always experimenting. That’s what I do. That’s who I am. I’m also always playing with toys…really big ones.

Some time ago a man from Germany living locally said he wanted to fist me and laid out his plans for us in his fantasy. In them he said he’d lube me up with vaseline. I’d never really thought of using vaseline as fisting lube because it worked miserably for regular sex, so I asked him why. His only answer was that it was thicker than other lubes and lasted longer.

The Boss Hogg

We never hooked up, but the idea of using vaseline stuck with me. Then I bought a Boss Hogg toy from Mr. Hankey Toys, which has 5 sizes. Of course I bought one of the biggest. It was a really tight fit and Crisco didn’t seem to do it, nor did J-lube, even really thick J-lube. Then I remembered what my German friend said about vaseline. I had some in the bathroom so I fetched it and gave it a try. As a lube it was better than Crisco, but more tacky and difficult to work with. I use a kitchen juice injector to insert lube deep into my hole. Trying to stuff it with vaseline was really messy no matter how hard I tried to keep things neat and clean. Normally I can just put J-lube in a small container and draw the mix up with the injector. With Crisco I could take the end off the injector and plunge it into the can of Crisco and pull it out. But not with the vaseline.

Homemade lube injectors made from commercially available BBQ juice injectors

My solution was to mix all three ingredients to see how that would work. It took me a bit of experimenting with the right proportions, but I finally came up with a mixture that was equal parts Crisco, vaseline and J-lube. J-lube is the variable though. It really depends on how thick you make it which is a personal choice. The J-lube mixture I used was as thick as a heavy syrup. The combined concoction was thick as a paste but thin enough that it could be sucked up by the juice injector.

I’ve used the mixture now for several months and I really like it. It coats the surface of the Boss Hogg really well and feels great for fisting. It’s easy to make although more complicated than whipping up a batch of J-lube. It’s easy to bottle and use in my juice injector and best of all, a little goes a long way.

On the down side, it is harder to clean up. Vaseline doesn’t dissolve with dish detergent as easy as Crisco does. J-lube is difficult to wash off, and any utensils you use in the mixing process are a pain to clean up unless you use a dish washer with high heat and a hefty batch of detergent. It’s also a bitch to get out of fabrics.

Fortunately for me I have a dedicated play space in the garage with a big wash tub/sink and plenty of really hot water. In my case, the pros outweigh the cons. I highly recommend try giving a couple of small batches a try to see how you like it.

WurstFilm Club

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