Ass Play Lubricants

You can fuck a lot of guys using spit for lube, but that’s not going to work with fisting or toy play. Nope, you need a good lubricant that is really slick and has great viscosity. The two staples that most fisters use are Crisco shortening, and J-lube (discussed near the end). There are others lubes on the market specifically made for fisting such as Shaft and Slam Dunk but they are on the expensive side. Crisco and J-Lube on the other hand are inexpensive. They have other great qualities that make them popular such as their unique textures; they store well, are easily customized to fit individual needs and are really effective.

You can find Crisco just about everywhere; at least it is in the U.S. and is cheap. Off brands are even cheaper and are often free of that Crisco brand baking smell. It is oil based so it’s not a good choice to use if you’re going to use condoms or using it on rubber or latex based toys. It will cause condoms to quickly fail. It will degrade the quality and integrity of your latex and rubber based toys. Soon after use on latex and rubber toys they become sticky, hard, and in some case even begin to melt.

Most men use Crisco out of the can at room temperature because it’s easy to apply and stuff into sloppy holes. But a lot of guys like to customize it because it so easy to do. There are so many fun combinations to try and your imagination is the limit.

Many options include changing its scent, texture and viscosity. Common additives include J-lube (you get the best of both), clove oil, water, mineral oil, and glycerin.  When blended using a household blender, these mixtures become fluffy and increase in volume because air is added in the blending process. The mixtures also become thinner. If you’re adventurous and want to try mixing your own, here are a few blends I’ve tried.

  • Crisco and Clove Oil—don’t use too much clove oil use just enough to give your mixture a barely noticeable scent of clove. Too much and it will induce a burning sensation due to its irritant qualities to sensitive tissue. When applied sparingly, it offers minor desensitizing effect and offers mild antiseptic qualities.
  • Crisco and Water—when whipped into Crisco it increases volume and creates a creamier texture. This is a good mixture for making little grease balls you can freeze. When hardened they’re easy to insert into the bum. The cold can be an exciting experience for some. Depending on the amount of water you use, they melt relatively quickly. Here’s a thought…try adding some dry J-lube to the mix. As the water separates from the grease as it melts it would mix with the J-Lube powder and add some viscosity and texture.
  • Crisco and J-lube—pre-mixed J-lube added to Crisco is a popular blend because you get the benefit of both types of lubricants. It’s good for toy use too because the grease will adhere to toy surfaces and the J-lube mixes with your body’s own butt juice to make a really slick lubricant. The grease also maintains viscosity in your butt; the lube won’t dry out as quickly as a plain J-lube batch would. With this blend you’ll probably need some type of injector, squeeze bulb or other means to get this into the butt though because it can be fluid like…something like a thick shaving cream depending on the concentrations used.
  • Crisco and Mineral Oil—mineral oil simply adds volume and thins out the grease so it’s more fluid like, which some people may prefer. This is a good mix for guys that use juice injectors to get lube high-up in the butt for depth play.
  • Crisco and Vegetable Oil—this the same as adding mineral oil, but cheaper still and you usually have some on hand.

If you are unfamiliar with J-Lube, J-lube is a concentrated powder. When mixed with water is makes an excellent lubricant. It’s used in veterinary medicine to reach into birth canals of large animals to assist in the birthing process. A single bottle of J-Lube powder can make gallons of inexpensive lube. Some guys swear it’s the best lube you can use and I’ll have to admit that it’s pretty damn slick in the right concentration. Concentration is easily adjusted by either adding more powder to thicken or water to thin. It’s not good to use with toys however because it doesn’t adhere to smooth surfaces very well; hardly at all. Thicker concentrations work much better with acceptable results especially if you’re able to get some inside your hole.

J-lube has its downsides though. While it is used in veterinary medicine, it is toxic when introduced to the peritoneal cavity. If you have a lot of J-lube in your gut and some knucklehead punctures your colon you’re in big trouble. Get to the hospital immediately.

J-lube is very stringy and difficult to clean up. You have to use tons of water and lots of towels to clean it up because soap and water alone won’t break it down. The manufacture says that adding salt to a spill will make cleanup easy. I don’t know about you, but I don’t keep salt next to my bathroom sink or my sling. J-Lube also dries quickly. You frequently need to add more lube or water. Some guys keep a spray bottle with them to keep the lube wet.

It can be difficult to mix too. It has a habit of clotting when it’s added to water. The best way to blend it with water is to get a blender out, add water, start the blender on low and slowly add the powder to the water while it’s mixing. You’ll have to play around with the ratio of powder to water to get the right mix for you. As the mixture thickens, the blender will slow down. Increase the speed of the blender as you add more powder. A good mixture ratio is when you have to turn the blender on low-high to keep the motor from overheating. A lot of guys recommend adding the powder to very hot water. If your powder does clot up, mix it the best you can and then put it into a mixing bowl and nuke the hell out of it in the microwave. Watch it carefully because it will boil over. Cleanup will be a bitch. After a while clots will break apart. You may have to go through a few cycles of nuking and cooling to get the bigger clots to dissipate.

Like Crisco, J-lube can be customized, but the options are fewer as water and oil won’t mix too well. Thin oils such as clove and mineral oil would work best. Shaking before use would be necessary to re-blend the mixture when separation occurs—think of a vinegar and oil salad dressing mix. J-lube can be found in some of the bigger toy stores, but your best bet is to shop online to find the best deal. A ballpark figure is about $20-25 per bottle.

Fistpowder is very similar in nature to J-lube but without a lot of the downsides. It’s easy to clean up with soap and water. It doesn’t dry out as quickly. It’s just as slick and not nearly as stringy. With regards to its toxicity, I don’t know. I’ve used Fistpowder in the past and really like it but for its expense; about $35 for a third of the amount you’d get in a J-lube bottle. When mixed with Crisco I found that it stunk like old buttermilk or some really strong cheese.

As to where to find Fistpowder your best bet is to shop online. I believe it is manufactured in France so make sure the store you buy from is stateside to avoid long shipping times and customs delays.

There are similar Fistpowder like lubes hitting the market now, but I haven’t tried them all. I’ve been quite satisfied with Crisco and J-lube.

For additional information on personal lubricants, visit this Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_lubricant