Having a tool to get lube up your ass for fisting or toy play is, in my humble opinion, essential for safe and pleasurable play. Good lubrication reduces friction between skin and toy surfaces with the sensitive tissues in you lower gastrointestinal (GI) tract . Lubrication also captures bacteria and may even help reduce the chances of STI infection.
Getting lube in your hole is not too hard. Depending on what kind of lube you’re using you can easy squirt or push it in. But, what if you’re a depth-player. I love depth play and depending on the size of a man’s arm I can usually fit him in from anywhere pre-elbow to mid-bicep. So for me getting lube past my second hole is absolutely necessary.
Pushing and squirting lube in me just won’t to the trick. I looked for lube injectors in sex shops but found all of them woefully inadequate. Since I like creating things, do-it-yourself inventions, I decided to make my own. I went through several variations until I came up with a design that is sturdy, effective and relatively safe (depending on how you use it of course). The simple designed worked really well for me and continues to do so after many years.
My design was simple and very basic. All I did was to find a commercially available BBQ juice injector and make a couple of minor modifications. I have two versions that I use; one for getting Crisco a few inches inside my hole near the middle of my rectum. I use the other for depositing J-lube past my second hole. It’s important to note here that you want to use small quantities of lube because if you use too much, a hydraulic effect occurs and creates uncomfortable pressure as you try to move an arm or a toy up your GI tract.
To make the first injector, all I simply had to do was find a juice injector with a silicone o-ring plunger and throw away the injection needle. You want a silicone plunger because it will not degrade like rubber or plastic will. Rubber quickly becomes “gummy” and unusable. Some plastics will too, but plastic plungers are not recommended because they simple don’t fit tightly enough within the cylinder.
The second injector I made for depth to deposit my J-lube, was one I found at Home Depot. I later found the same model on Amazon for a lower price. With this one, all I did was to take one of the injection needles and cut it in half and then take a 1/4″ tube approximately 6″ to 8″ long and force it over the remaining part of the needle. It’s important that the fit is tight. I took a cigarette lighter to slightly melt the edges at the other end of the tubing to eliminate any sharp edges.
The tubing adds the necessary length to get the lube deep and also make it easy to siphon lube out of a bottle or other container
If you don’t use J-lube, due to the small diameter of the tube, you should be aware that thick lubricants won’t work. They will be nearly impossible to draw up into the cylinder. Lubes with a liquid consistency will work best.
For training to take a fist, many people ask me what toy is
a good one to start with. My response is, “Well, it depends.”
What’s was good for me may not be good for you. There are a
lot of things to consider such as:
How big of a toy you can take now
What can your budget afford
What kinds of lubricants do you use
Do you have any allergies to latex, lubes or
Do you prefer latex, vinyl, rubber or silicone
How sensitive is your body to some of the
chemicals toys are made of, etc.
Years ago I sat on a friend’s very fat cock that must have
been a good 9 1/2 inches (24.13 cm) long. I was able to take it all the way
down to the base which surprised me, because I could never take anything so big
and so deep before.
So when I went looking for a toy to play with after a couple
of weeks of sexual dry spell I went looking for something slightly fatter and longer.
His cock also had more of a pointy head as opposed to mushroom shaped, so I
also looked for something conical in shape near the tip.
When I got the toy home I found I couldn’t take it in slowly
but couldn’t go deep with it. From my experience with my friend’s long cock I
knew taking at much deeper was possible so I tried moving it back and forth,
side to side. I found if I angled it just right I could get it in much deeper.
I played with it several nights in a row trying to get it in deeper and deeper.
I finally reach a point where it went in as deep as my friends cock was long,
but there was still a few more inches to go. I was making good progress until I
hit a sensitive spot that had a little bit of give to it. While it was
sensitive it didn’t hurt to push against it, but it was quite uncomfortable. I
was completely unaware of my anatomy so I didn’t know if there was a different
direction I should take. I tried pointing the tip of the dildo in other
directions, poking here and there but there was nowhere else to go to. The
direction towards this sensitive spot was the only path there was.
Over the span of a few nights I kept teasing that sensitive
area figuring I was at a valve or sphincter of some type. Due to the toy’s taper
I gradually worked this spot to see if it would open. Each time it felt like I
could go a little deeper. I also noticed that the level of discomfort I felt
was beginning to wane. One night after having a cope of beers I decided to play
with my toy again. This time I tried adding poppers to the routine. As I began
teasing a way at that spot there was hardly any discomfort at all when suddenly
it open and the rest of the toy went all of the way in. The sensation was
I want to stress for the reader that I never pushed the toy
in to the point of painfulness. I had read that in butt play pain is a danger
signal that should be seriously heeded. It is reasonable to expect some discomfort
as you stretch and open your pathway, but it should never hurt. Always go slow
as one quick thrust can put you in the hospital. I don’t know where the
statistics come from, it may all be anecdotal, but I’ve read that more people
wind up in the emergency room from toys than do fisting.
When I described my experience with a seasoned fister he congratulated me. He told me what I was going through was my “second” hole. He said it was a significant achievement and would allow me to take a hand deeper in the long run. He said my next challenge would be to train my second hole to open wider so I could get a hand through it. For me, that would be a little way down the road as for now I was really enjoying the sensation of the toy opening and then going through my second hole. That was in early 2004.
My toy’s length wasn’t long enough to get much further than just the opening of my second hole so I went and bought another toy that was much longer. It was called “Rambone.” You can still find it sold in many adult toy stores and even find it on Amazon. The Rambone is shaped like a very long cock which I used to get beyond my second hole to explore deeper. Its dimensions are:
Total Length = 16.7 in.
Insertable Length = 13.4 in.
Width = 2.35 in.
Girth = 7.38 in.
Today it’s 2019. I can take tall men up to their elbow. Small men to mid-bicep and men of average height just past the knuckle of their elbow. I can also take two hands. Of course it depends on the size of the man’s hands and helps a lot if he knows what he’s doing. I have a petite Vietnamese friend who is very experienced. He’s an awesome fister with small hands. He can fit both of them in my ass and work his way up midway to his elbow. The physical limitation of my anatomy will allow me to take really large hands, but not very deep and not two at a time. My pelvis can only take so much.
I won’t bore you with all of the details of every toy I used and the phases I went through to get to where I am today, but I can give you some general guidelines. I always upgraded in size gradually, always getting a toy that was slightly larger than the previous. I like depth play as much as I do width stretching so I alternated back and forth between longer and wider toys.
I preferred toys that were long and tapered; not just at the top, but kind of like a cone. When I got interested in width, I used toys more like butt plugs that went from narrow at the top to very wide at the bottom. For exploring, I used long toys with a slight taper at the top but consistent in diameter the rest of the way. Think of long bullet and you’ll get the idea.
Here are a few toys I suggest for depth and width training
For lube, I generally used Crisco grease. Lard works too.
Sometimes I’d mix the grease with mineral oil, water (you have to use a
blender) or J-Lube. Sometimes I’d add a dash of clove oil to give it a pleasant
smell and a slight numbing quality. J-lube is a powder that veterinarians use
to lubricate birth canals so they can reach in to assist with the birthing
process. It has other uses too. The powder is concentrated and all you have to
do is blend it with water and you can make a lot of lube inexpensively. You can
find many places to buy it by simply searching online.
The reason I used grease was because water based lubes wouldn’t coat latex and rubber toys very well. I didn’t use silicone lubes because they’re expensive. If you use grease, beware that grease will degrade your latex, rubber and vinyl toys over time. For me that was OK because I was frequently upgrading to bigger and wider toys.
I am a real pig for extremes. I wanted guys to get in me deep and to put both fists in my hole so I wound up buying a lot of toys to stretch me deep and wide. Your experience doesn’t have to be like that. Your toy work should get you to the point where you can easily take a toy that’s about 3 1/2 inches (3.89 cm) in diameter. When you can comfortable take that you’re probably ready to start looking for someone with small hands to stretch you a bit more and get their hand in you. Don’t expect too much the first time. You have to learn to relax, control your breathing and communicate with your partner. Your partner will also have to learn your body language, the anatomy of your hole and how his hand fits into it and how to work with you to get you to relax. It’s a lot more complicated than a drive by fuck-and-dump. You have to build a relationship. It might work the first time, but you shouldn’t expect that. It may take several sessions to get inside you and that’s typical. As a daddy once said to me, “Be patient boy. It’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey.” He was so damn true.
I’ve worked with a lot of boys. Many give up in frustration or
lack of patience, but those that are consistent, patient and communicate well
are more successful and in shorter periods of time that those that are not.
I’ve only fisted two boys in ten years that were able to take my small hands on
the first try. There could have been many more, but I don’t believe in forcing
my fist into your asshole like some inexperienced and selfish tops do. Be very
selective about who you choose to work with.
When you start playing with others, if a guy is going too fast and hard, tell him to slow down and go easy. If he doesn’t, politely end the session and find another partner regardless of how bad you want it. It’s not worth getting hurt.
A lot of people abandon toy play because it’s inconvenient and not as enjoyable as other activities. Think about your own experiences. For me, I started buying and playing with cheap toys with suction cup bases. I had a hard time finding something to stick them too. I tried chairs, stools, filing cabinets, floors, walls, shower tiles and the list goes on. I never found a suitable object that I could stick my toys to without doing some weird form of yoga position to get them in my ass at just the right angles. Out of frustration I ended up making my own toy stand. That was a game changer.
Having a proper stand made play a lot more enjoyable and I began to play more often. As the amount of time I dedicated to my toys grew I found that proper set up could be a distraction and discouraging. If I forgot to lay down a towel I’d drip lube on the floor. If it was oil based or J-lube it was a hassle to clean up. If I forgot my poppers I’d have to dismount my toy, squeeze my butt closed (I didn’t want to drip lube all over) and scurry over to get my poppers from the refrigerator. If I got thirsty I repeated the process to fetch a glass of water, beer or glass of wine. Sometimes, there were accidents. And if I didn’t do the preliminary cleanout, there might be some….poo. That’s never fun, unless you’re into scat play.
In all my years of toy play I’ve finely tuned my toy play setup process. Now, it’s a major part of my sex life. It’s fun, convenient, available when I want it, it’s safe, and I don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone else except myself. I want you to have the save enjoyment. So, I have included topics below that I found important in my evolution as a seasoned toy player.
Find a good place to play
If you can dedicate an area for play, it makes things a lot easier.
When you’ve got everything you need in one place, it makes setup and cleanup
quicker and more convenient. This can be difficult for some especially if
you’re living with parents, roommates or simply live in small spaces. I’m
lucky; I live alone, own my home and have a garage where I’ve dedicated space
for toy play. If you’re not so lucky, try to find a place that is well lighted,
easy to clean up, has power outlets for accessories and can afford you some
privacy. For many, the bathroom is a good place to start.
Consolidate your supplies
Having everything you need in one place adds convenience and helps expedite setup. Here are a few things you’ll need. If you’re using the bathroom, you’ve probably got many of these already there:
Cell phone for pictures, videos and emergencies
Lubes: water, oil and silicone based
Puppy pads, incontinence piddle pads or newspapers to catch lube that leaks from your butt
Dawn dish soap and salt for cleaning up J-lube (not required but helpful)
Spare vibrator batteries
Vagisil (maximum strength, used as a numbing agent)
Juice injector (without the needle, used to insert lube into your hole)
Laptop computer, iPad or a mobile device for watching porn or recording your play
Get a long VGI, HDMI or other video device cable so you can put a webcam on a tripod behind you so you can see the action up close. It’s hot!
Get a tool or cleaning caddy
A caddy of some sort is ideal for organizing and storing your supplies in a single, mobile container. Or, if you travel, consider getting a canvas tool bag from a hardware store or online. If you need privacy, get one you can lock.
If you have a lot of gear, consider getting plastic drawers. You can find them in office supply stores.
Make or buy a toy stand
A toy stand goes a long way in making a safe and enjoyable play session. I’m including an illustration of a toy stand I built from parts I bought from a hardware store (illustration below). If you don’t have hand tools to construct a stand, there are toys stands you can buy at some sex shops, but they can be a bit pricey. You can find a variety of stands online or you can consider improvising or modifying a stand made for some other purpose. If you search the Internet, use the search phrase, heavy duty equipment tripod or heavy duty equipment stand or sculpture stand.
Whatever you choose, safety and comfort should be your first consideration. You want to make sure whatever you use won’t collapse under your weight, won’t shatter or break into sharp shards, will be sturdy and allow you to squat over it with good balance and stability.
Use the right lube
To chose the right lube take the toy material into consideration. Silicone based toys are slick and no-porus in general so they typically need a grease or oil based lube that will adequately coat and adhere to the toy’s surface. J-Lube, a water based lubricant that is sold as a powder can be made very thick. It works well on silicone toys as long as it is very thick and sticky…almost “goopy.” Silicone based lubricants work also, but they’re expensive and their viscosity may not be inadequate depending on the brand. You will see some warnings on the Internet warning you not to use silicone lubes with silicone toys because the lube will degrade the integrity of the silicone lube, perhaps even dissolve it. That’s not necessarily true. If the silicone toy is made with inferior materials I can see where this might be a possibility. To make sure though, check with the toy’s manufacture to see if their toys are at risk.
Here are a few oil based lubes you might want to try. A word of caution though—if you are experimenting with a lubricant not specifically made for sex toys or food, proceed at your own risk. You may be allergic to the substance and it may be toxic. Definitely avoid any lubricant made for machinery or not made for use with the human body. The following list is what I’ve tried and used safely:
Baking grease (Crisco or off-name brands)
Cooking oils (canola, olive, coconut, etc.)
For latex, jelly or rubber type toys (not always a safe pick), oil and grease based lubes degrade the toy material and they become gummy and sticky. That scares me and I think it would you too. The best lubes for these toys are silicone and water-based lubes.