I’ve been developing and administering social networking sites centered around fisting and toy play for many years. They were successful but became too large and expensive to run. They also became quite technical. After several years I just didn’t enjoy running them anymore and decided to close my last site, ButtSwap.com, in May of 2018.
I missed it though and wanted to make a comeback, but wondered in what way. How could I keep expenses down, keep the site super simple, continue to share my experience and still have fun while building a smaller, more intimate community.
Having a tool to get lube up your ass for fisting or toy play is, in my humble opinion, essential for safe and pleasurable play. Good lubrication reduces friction between skin and toy surfaces with the sensitive tissues in you lower gastrointestinal (GI) tract . Lubrication also captures bacteria and may even help reduce the chances of STI infection.
Getting lube in your hole is not too hard. Depending on what kind of lube you’re using you can easy squirt or push it in. But, what if you’re a depth-player. I love depth play and depending on the size of a man’s arm I can usually fit him in from anywhere pre-elbow to mid-bicep. So for me getting lube past my second hole is absolutely necessary.
Pushing and squirting lube in me just won’t to the trick. I looked for lube injectors in sex shops but found all of them woefully inadequate. Since I like creating things, do-it-yourself inventions, I decided to make my own. I went through several variations until I came up with a design that is sturdy, effective and relatively safe (depending on how you use it of course). The simple designed worked really well for me and continues to do so after many years.
My design was simple and very basic. All I did was to find a commercially available BBQ juice injector and make a couple of minor modifications. I have two versions that I use; one for getting Crisco a few inches inside my hole near the middle of my rectum. I use the other for depositing J-lube past my second hole. It’s important to note here that you want to use small quantities of lube because if you use too much, a hydraulic effect occurs and creates uncomfortable pressure as you try to move an arm or a toy up your GI tract.
To make the first injector, all I simply had to do was find a juice injector with a silicone o-ring plunger and throw away the injection needle. You want a silicone plunger because it will not degrade like rubber or plastic will. Rubber quickly becomes “gummy” and unusable. Some plastics will too, but plastic plungers are not recommended because they simple don’t fit tightly enough within the cylinder.
The second injector I made for depth to deposit my J-lube, was one I found at Home Depot. I later found the same model on Amazon for a lower price. With this one, all I did was to take one of the injection needles and cut it in half and then take a 1/4″ tube approximately 6″ to 8″ long and force it over the remaining part of the needle. It’s important that the fit is tight. I took a cigarette lighter to slightly melt the edges at the other end of the tubing to eliminate any sharp edges.
The tubing adds the necessary length to get the lube deep and also make it easy to siphon lube out of a bottle or other container
If you don’t use J-lube, due to the small diameter of the tube, you should be aware that thick lubricants won’t work. They will be nearly impossible to draw up into the cylinder. Lubes with a liquid consistency will work best.
I’m always experimenting. That’s what I do. That’s who I am. I’m also always playing with toys…really big ones.
Some time ago a man from Germany living locally said he wanted to fist me and laid out his plans for us in his fantasy. In them he said he’d lube me up with vaseline. I’d never really thought of using vaseline as fisting lube because it worked miserably for regular sex, so I asked him why. His only answer was that it was thicker than other lubes and lasted longer.
We never hooked up, but the idea of using vaseline stuck with me. Then I bought a Boss Hogg toy from Mr. Hankey Toys, which has 5 sizes. Of course I bought one of the biggest. It was a really tight fit and Crisco didn’t seem to do it, nor did J-lube, even really thick J-lube. Then I remembered what my German friend said about vaseline. I had some in the bathroom so I fetched it and gave it a try. As a lube it was better than Crisco, but more tacky and difficult to work with. I use a kitchen juice injector to insert lube deep into my hole. Trying to stuff it with vaseline was really messy no matter how hard I tried to keep things neat and clean. Normally I can just put J-lube in a small container and draw the mix up with the injector. With Crisco I could take the end off the injector and plunge it into the can of Crisco and pull it out. But not with the vaseline.
My solution was to mix all three ingredients to see how that would work. It took me a bit of experimenting with the right proportions, but I finally came up with a mixture that was equal parts Crisco, vaseline and J-lube. J-lube is the variable though. It really depends on how thick you make it which is a personal choice. The J-lube mixture I used was as thick as a heavy syrup. The combined concoction was thick as a paste but thin enough that it could be sucked up by the juice injector.
I’ve used the mixture now for several months and I really like it. It coats the surface of the Boss Hogg really well and feels great for fisting. It’s easy to make although more complicated than whipping up a batch of J-lube. It’s easy to bottle and use in my juice injector and best of all, a little goes a long way.
On the down side, it is harder to clean up. Vaseline doesn’t dissolve with dish detergent as easy as Crisco does. J-lube is difficult to wash off, and any utensils you use in the mixing process are a pain to clean up unless you use a dish washer with high heat and a hefty batch of detergent. It’s also a bitch to get out of fabrics.
Fortunately for me I have a dedicated play space in the garage with a big wash tub/sink and plenty of really hot water. In my case, the pros outweigh the cons. I highly recommend try giving a couple of small batches a try to see how you like it.
Twinks seem to be the biggest flakes. People who drink a lot or party are a close second regardless of age. The former I think is simply selfishness, insecurity and a large dose of immaturity. Some people may be flakes and don’t even realize they are one. So, what is a flake? I put together a brief list of behaviors I’ve experienced over the years that hold agreement among other players about what constitutes a flake. Doing these things will rightfully earn you the FLAKE label so don’t do them.
The classic, saying you’re on your way but not showing up without even letting the guy know you’ve changed your mind
Changing your mind at the last minute
Being deceptive and dishonest
Not reading his profile before chatting with him
Being ignorant about PreP, TasP, or lying about your status
Not sharing your cell phone/text number
Asking 20 questions like what are you into, how big is your dick, etc.. If you’re serious it should take no more than 5-10 back and forth text messages
Don’t go online if you’re not serious about hooking up now. If your app has a status option make sure it’s set to Not Looking if you do go online
Setting up or accepting a play date and then canceling at the last moment without an offer to make it up and rescheduling
Stringing a guy along and while you look for something better
Posting photos older than a year. I know one guy that’s used the same profile pic for more than 10 years
Not using your own picture (I hate you!)
Failure to disclose in your profile or in your first moments of chat that you cannot host or that you do not have transportation (bus, walking or bicycles don’t count unless they’re reliable and you’re close to him)
Not cleaning out or doing any prep (like trimming fingernails) before looking
Lying about whether you PNP or have been
Showing up with a cold, cold sores, undisclosed injuries,
Not bringing your own supplies. If fisting that means bringing your own lube, poppers and if your require gloves, bringing your own
Unfortunately FLAKES don’t wear a label nor do they post their flakey status on their profiles. It’s hard to know when you’ve run across one, but there are tell-tale signs. In my next post I tell you how to spot them.