J-Lube Formula & Instructions

Here’s a formula posted on Amazon feedback from a frequent user, purchaser of the product. Some minor edits were made to correct grammar or spelling…

This lubricant is fairly well misunderstood. It’s not enough to simply mix with water. That makes a lubricant that is either too snotty in consistency or one that dries out too quickly. What you want are the directions for how to prepare this lubricant best to make it more human-useful. Here are my unofficial directions that you never knew you needed but you really really do need a basic guideline how to prepare this personal lubricant best and how to do it according to your personal taste. Myself, ai like lube when it isn’t runny and isn’t constantly in a state of dry-out. Prepare your J-Lube like so for a more silky—not snotty—kind of longer lasting lubricant experience with more feeling to it.

  1. Mix one part J-Lube powder into a large cup with 5 parts water. (i.e. 2 Tablespoons J-Lube with 10 Tablespoons of water). Adjust to preference.
  2. Stir or Blend thoroughly until no white chunks of lube powder are visible.
  3. Microwave for at least 1 minute. Check to see if boiling. Keep microwaving in 30 second intervals until you see the lube actually boil. Then stop immediately! You don’t want to boil it dry or burn it. Just a light quick boil.
  4. Cool lubricant at room temperature. (Set aside on a counter or in your refrigerator for at least 10 minutes to cool off before touching your new vastly improved J-Lube.)

It is the microwaving in step 3 that makes all the difference. Boiling it changes it somehow and gets rid of the snot feeling and adds the silky feeling. Now it’s my go-to favorite lubricant because it doesn’t wear out too quickly, isn’t really sticky anymore, and is cheap as far as other lubes go. Hopefully this helps a lot of you out to prepare your J-Lube for the most pleasurable results possible!

From <https://www.amazon.com/JorVet-J0109-J-Lube-Lubric-Pwd-10Oz/dp/B006G2S17A?th=1#customerReviews>

Ass Play Lubricants

You can fuck a lot of guys using spit for lube, but that’s not going to work with fisting or toy play. Nope, you need a good lubricant that is really slick and has great viscosity. The two staples that most fisters use are Crisco shortening, and J-lube (discussed near the end). There are others lubes on the market specifically made for fisting such as Shaft and Slam Dunk but they are on the expensive side. Crisco and J-Lube on the other hand are inexpensive. They have other great qualities that make them popular such as their unique textures; they store well, are easily customized to fit individual needs and are really effective.

You can find Crisco just about everywhere; at least it is in the U.S. and is cheap. Off brands are even cheaper and are often free of that Crisco brand baking smell. It is oil based so it’s not a good choice to use if you’re going to use condoms or using it on rubber or latex based toys. It will cause condoms to quickly fail. It will degrade the quality and integrity of your latex and rubber based toys. Soon after use on latex and rubber toys they become sticky, hard, and in some case even begin to melt.

Most men use Crisco out of the can at room temperature because it’s easy to apply and stuff into sloppy holes. But a lot of guys like to customize it because it so easy to do. There are so many fun combinations to try and your imagination is the limit.

Many options include changing its scent, texture and viscosity. Common additives include J-lube (you get the best of both), clove oil, water, mineral oil, and glycerin.  When blended using a household blender, these mixtures become fluffy and increase in volume because air is added in the blending process. The mixtures also become thinner. If you’re adventurous and want to try mixing your own, here are a few blends I’ve tried.

  • Crisco and Clove Oil—don’t use too much clove oil use just enough to give your mixture a barely noticeable scent of clove. Too much and it will induce a burning sensation due to its irritant qualities to sensitive tissue. When applied sparingly, it offers minor desensitizing effect and offers mild antiseptic qualities.
  • Crisco and Water—when whipped into Crisco it increases volume and creates a creamier texture. This is a good mixture for making little grease balls you can freeze. When hardened they’re easy to insert into the bum. The cold can be an exciting experience for some. Depending on the amount of water you use, they melt relatively quickly. Here’s a thought…try adding some dry J-lube to the mix. As the water separates from the grease as it melts it would mix with the J-Lube powder and add some viscosity and texture.
  • Crisco and J-lube—pre-mixed J-lube added to Crisco is a popular blend because you get the benefit of both types of lubricants. It’s good for toy use too because the grease will adhere to toy surfaces and the J-lube mixes with your body’s own butt juice to make a really slick lubricant. The grease also maintains viscosity in your butt; the lube won’t dry out as quickly as a plain J-lube batch would. With this blend you’ll probably need some type of injector, squeeze bulb or other means to get this into the butt though because it can be fluid like…something like a thick shaving cream depending on the concentrations used.
  • Crisco and Mineral Oil—mineral oil simply adds volume and thins out the grease so it’s more fluid like, which some people may prefer. This is a good mix for guys that use juice injectors to get lube high-up in the butt for depth play.
  • Crisco and Vegetable Oil—this the same as adding mineral oil, but cheaper still and you usually have some on hand.

If you are unfamiliar with J-Lube, J-lube is a concentrated powder. When mixed with water is makes an excellent lubricant. It’s used in veterinary medicine to reach into birth canals of large animals to assist in the birthing process. A single bottle of J-Lube powder can make gallons of inexpensive lube. Some guys swear it’s the best lube you can use and I’ll have to admit that it’s pretty damn slick in the right concentration. Concentration is easily adjusted by either adding more powder to thicken or water to thin. It’s not good to use with toys however because it doesn’t adhere to smooth surfaces very well; hardly at all. Thicker concentrations work much better with acceptable results especially if you’re able to get some inside your hole.

J-lube has its downsides though. While it is used in veterinary medicine, it is toxic when introduced to the peritoneal cavity. If you have a lot of J-lube in your gut and some knucklehead punctures your colon you’re in big trouble. Get to the hospital immediately.

J-lube is very stringy and difficult to clean up. You have to use tons of water and lots of towels to clean it up because soap and water alone won’t break it down. The manufacture says that adding salt to a spill will make cleanup easy. I don’t know about you, but I don’t keep salt next to my bathroom sink or my sling. J-Lube also dries quickly. You frequently need to add more lube or water. Some guys keep a spray bottle with them to keep the lube wet.

It can be difficult to mix too. It has a habit of clotting when it’s added to water. The best way to blend it with water is to get a blender out, add water, start the blender on low and slowly add the powder to the water while it’s mixing. You’ll have to play around with the ratio of powder to water to get the right mix for you. As the mixture thickens, the blender will slow down. Increase the speed of the blender as you add more powder. A good mixture ratio is when you have to turn the blender on low-high to keep the motor from overheating. A lot of guys recommend adding the powder to very hot water. If your powder does clot up, mix it the best you can and then put it into a mixing bowl and nuke the hell out of it in the microwave. Watch it carefully because it will boil over. Cleanup will be a bitch. After a while clots will break apart. You may have to go through a few cycles of nuking and cooling to get the bigger clots to dissipate.

Like Crisco, J-lube can be customized, but the options are fewer as water and oil won’t mix too well. Thin oils such as clove and mineral oil would work best. Shaking before use would be necessary to re-blend the mixture when separation occurs—think of a vinegar and oil salad dressing mix. J-lube can be found in some of the bigger toy stores, but your best bet is to shop online to find the best deal. A ballpark figure is about $20-25 per bottle.

Fistpowder is very similar in nature to J-lube but without a lot of the downsides. It’s easy to clean up with soap and water. It doesn’t dry out as quickly. It’s just as slick and not nearly as stringy. With regards to its toxicity, I don’t know. I’ve used Fistpowder in the past and really like it but for its expense; about $35 for a third of the amount you’d get in a J-lube bottle. When mixed with Crisco I found that it stunk like old buttermilk or some really strong cheese.

As to where to find Fistpowder your best bet is to shop online. I believe it is manufactured in France so make sure the store you buy from is stateside to avoid long shipping times and customs delays.

There are similar Fistpowder like lubes hitting the market now, but I haven’t tried them all. I’ve been quite satisfied with Crisco and J-lube.

For additional information on personal lubricants, visit this Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_lubricant

Toys – Making Toy Play Fun

A lot of people abandon toy play because it’s inconvenient and not as enjoyable as other activities. Think about your own experiences. For me, I started buying and playing with cheap toys with suction cup bases. I had a hard time finding something to stick them too. I tried chairs, stools, filing cabinets, floors, walls, shower tiles and the list goes on. I never found a suitable object that I could stick my toys to without doing some weird form of yoga position to get them in my ass at just the right angles. Out of frustration I ended up making my own toy stand. That was a game changer.

Having a proper stand made play a lot more enjoyable and I began to play more often. As the amount of time I dedicated to my toys grew I found that proper set up could be a distraction and discouraging. If I forgot to lay down a towel I’d drip lube on the floor. If it was oil based or J-lube it was a hassle to clean up. If I forgot my poppers I’d have to dismount my toy, squeeze my butt closed (I didn’t want to drip lube all over) and scurry over to get my poppers from the refrigerator. If I got thirsty I repeated the process to fetch a glass of water, beer or glass of wine. Sometimes, there were accidents. And if I didn’t do the preliminary cleanout, there might be some….poo. That’s never fun, unless you’re into scat play.

In all my years of toy play I’ve finely tuned my toy play setup process. Now, it’s a major part of my sex life. It’s fun, convenient, available when I want it, it’s safe, and I don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone else except myself. I want you to have the save enjoyment. So, I have included topics below that I found important in my evolution as a seasoned toy player.

Find a good place to play

If you can dedicate an area for play, it makes things a lot easier. When you’ve got everything you need in one place, it makes setup and cleanup quicker and more convenient. This can be difficult for some especially if you’re living with parents, roommates or simply live in small spaces. I’m lucky; I live alone, own my home and have a garage where I’ve dedicated space for toy play. If you’re not so lucky, try to find a place that is well lighted, easy to clean up, has power outlets for accessories and can afford you some privacy. For many, the bathroom is a good place to start.

Consolidate your supplies

Having everything you need in one place adds convenience and helps expedite setup. Here are a few things you’ll need. If you’re using the bathroom, you’ve probably got many of these already there:

  • Cell phone for pictures, videos and emergencies
  • Paper towels
  • Lubes: water, oil and silicone based
  • Vibrators
  • Puppy pads, incontinence piddle pads or newspapers to catch lube that leaks from your butt
  • Hand towels
  • Dawn dish soap and salt for cleaning up J-lube (not required but helpful)
  • Spare vibrator batteries
  • Vagisil (maximum strength, used as a numbing agent)
  • Juice injector (without the needle, used to insert lube into your hole)
  • Mirror(s)
  • Latex gloves
  • Laptop computer, iPad or a mobile device for watching porn or recording your play
    • Get a long VGI, HDMI or other video device cable so you can put a webcam on a tripod behind you so you can see the action up close. It’s hot!

Get a tool or cleaning caddy

Tool Caddy

A caddy of some sort is ideal for organizing and storing your supplies in a single, mobile container.  Or, if you travel, consider getting a canvas tool bag from a hardware store or online. If you need privacy, get one you can lock.

If you have a lot of gear, consider getting plastic drawers. You can find them in office supply stores.

Portable office drawers

Make or buy a toy stand

Tool stand

A toy stand goes a long way in making a safe and enjoyable play session. I’m including an illustration of a toy stand I built from parts I bought from a hardware store (illustration below). If you don’t have hand tools to construct a stand, there are toys stands you can buy at some sex shops, but they can be a bit pricey. You can find a variety of stands online or you can consider improvising or modifying a stand made for some other purpose. If you search the Internet, use the search phrase, heavy duty equipment tripod or heavy duty equipment stand or sculpture stand.

Tripod

Whatever you choose, safety and comfort should be your first consideration. You want to make sure whatever you use won’t collapse under your weight, won’t shatter or break into sharp shards, will be sturdy and allow you to squat over it with good balance and stability.

Home-made toy stand (view full size)

Use the right lube

To chose the right lube take the toy material into consideration. Silicone based toys are slick and no-porus in general so they typically need a grease or oil based lube that will adequately coat and adhere to the toy’s surface. J-Lube, a water based lubricant that is sold as a powder can be made very thick. It works well on silicone toys as long as it is very thick and sticky…almost “goopy.” Silicone based lubricants work also, but they’re expensive and their viscosity may not be inadequate depending on the brand. You will see some warnings on the Internet warning you not to use silicone lubes with silicone toys because the lube will degrade the integrity of the silicone lube, perhaps even dissolve it. That’s not necessarily true. If the silicone toy is made with inferior materials I can see where this might be a possibility. To make sure though, check with the toy’s manufacture to see if their toys are at risk.

Here are a few oil based lubes you might want to try. A word of caution though—if you are experimenting with a lubricant not specifically made for sex toys or food, proceed at your own risk. You may be allergic to the substance and it may be toxic. Definitely avoid any lubricant made for machinery or not made for use with the human body. The following list is what I’ve tried and used safely:

  • Baking grease (Crisco or off-name brands)
  • Lard
  • Cooking oils (canola, olive, coconut, etc.)
  • Vaseline

For latex, jelly or rubber type toys (not always a safe pick), oil and grease based lubes degrade the toy material and they become gummy and sticky. That scares me and I think it would you too. The best lubes for these toys are silicone and water-based lubes.